I Can't Take It
by NeoMatrixJR
Summary: Songfic: The All American Rejects' 'I Can't Take It'. I usually don't like songfics, but this seemed to fit my mood when I heard it. Please R&R. SxA Angst.


Disclamer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. I also don't own the song "Can't Take it," it's by the All American Rejects.

I don't normally do songfics 'cause I don't like them much. This one however, is dedicated to my fiancée for all the joy AND frustration she brings to my life. Don't get me wrong when you're done reading this – I love her, but some days she makes me crazy!

I apologize to my fans of "Restored in your arms" but I haven't had much good inspiration in a while to draw on to work on that fic. I guess that's why I started it as a one-shot, because I hate starting a story that never gets finished. I will try one of these days to get back to it.

Setup: It's after 3rd impact – which failed – Shinji and Asuka have been together for a while, but it's been a strained relationship at best. Shinji is still his withdrawn, timid self, and Asuka is pompous, strong-willed, and desires to be independent. While together, Asuka has realized that she can't be independent all the time and has really opened up to Shinji on occasion. Asuka, in her desire to be strong and independent has decided to leave Tokyo 3 to pursue a career, while Shinji, on the other hand desires to stay near the few friends he's ever known and finish his schooling so he can have a career and one day support a family. This is where we meet our young ex-heroes as a battle of wills and hearts is about to take place.

"" Spoken

'' Thoughts

Que the dramatic opening strings from "Can't Take It"

Hey Shinji! I just got a letter from that office in Osaka! They want me to come back down and discuss terms!

_You speak to me._

_I know this will be temporary_

"I suppose you'll be going then," Shinji stated bluntly with a dejected look on his face. "Well then...good luck." and with that he got up and headed towards his room.

_You ask to leave,_

_But I can tell you that I've had enough._

'I knew it! Damnit! I shouldn't have expected her to care. I do everything I can to help her, but she just wants to do it all herself.' "Go make your mama proud," Shinji muttered as he reached his room.

_I can't take it  
This welcome has gone and I've waited long enough  
To make it  
And if you're so strong  
You might as well just do it alone  
And I'll watch you go._

Asuka had been watching him as he stood to walk away. Though barely audible she caught what he said as he opened the door to his room. Anger quickly washed over her as she ran to overtake him. Just as he was about to enter the room she grabs his wrist an pulls him back out. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM IKARI?!" Asuka yells, a fiery gaze burning strait into Shinji's eyes. 'He KNOWS...HE KNOWS better than to do that to me!'

_Step up to me._

_I know that you've got something buried._

He looks down and away as she yells, then, with determination in his eye he stares strait back at Asuka. A look she's seen before with a force that may have only been known inside the plug of the berserker Unito-01 until this point. "MY PROBLEM IS YOU! I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING – BEEN HERE FOR EVERYTHING FOR YOU! ALL FOR YOU! You know where I stand on this. You know you can find something here! So where does this leave me? Us?"

"You could finish your schooling in Osaka with me, too you know? I need to do this for ME, Shinji! I need take care of myself. I CAN take care of myself and I WILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!" Now it's Asuka's turn to fail the gaze and look away. Quietly she let's slip "I promised I would...do it all on my own and all for myself."

_I'll set you free._

_You set conditions but I've had enough!_

"Whatever, Asuka. I've tried to be there for you. I know you CAN do it on your own, so you don't need to prove it to me...or anyone else for that matter. You've done it time and again. I wanted to be there for you so you wouldn't HAVE to. If you're so strong then you might as well just do it alone! Good luck, and goodbye." With that Shinji wretches his hand from Asuka's grasp, grabs her head and pulls her into a kiss then turns and slams the door behind him.

_I can't take it!  
This welcome is gone,  
And I've waited long enough;  
To make it,  
And if you're so strong  
You might as well just do it alone.  
And I'll watch you go._

It's been two months since Asuka moved to Osaka. Shinji, still having NERV pilot clearance was standing in front of Unit-02 in the holding bay. 'She's really gone.' He looks over to his own Unit-01 and remembers being trapped inside for a month. 'Heh...was the only time in my life I've been happy. If that Third Impact thing would have actually happened I probably would have been like that forever. Heh...well I guess one never knows what the future holds. I guess I just hoped for more.'

He went to Osaka about a week ago when school was on break. He hadn't been able to focus on his studies at all. There just wasn't any point anymore. He went from an A student to having near 0 in all his classes. 'I guess I needed her for that too.' A grin spread across his face, 'I doubt I would have ever gotten the concept of thermal expansion without the lesson only she could give me!' He was headed for where her apartment was when he saw her sitting in a cafe just below it. She was sitting next to a guy who had his arm around her shoulders while she chatted with two girls across the booth. He ran...boarded the train and made his way back to Tokyo 3.

_Come back home   
Won't you come back home?  
You step in line  
You've got a lot to prove  
It comes and goes  
Yeah, it comes and goes  
A step in time  
Yeah, it's a lot to move  
I know this will be temporary  
I know this will be temporary  
I know this will be, but I've had enough_

He stayed secluded, not attending class until he found himself here staring at Unit-01 a week later. Nobody knew where he had gone. He used his clearance to get a bunk in HQ and spoke to no one. After a week he found himself now standing in front of Unit-01. "Mother...I failed. You wanted something better for me. You sacrificed to give us all a chance, but I guess I never had one." With that he flipped the switch on the EVA's external access plate and the once familiar entry plug ejected and opened to receive him once again.

She'd seen him. A week ago, he had been standing right across the street when he was shoving people out of his way. She couldn't catch him, but she knew where he was going and immediately headed for a rental car. The fastest she could find. She searched with Misato for a whole week. They were about to give up when an automated message from the Maji to Misato's cellular phone indicated that Unit-01 was being prepared for launch. Both girls sped to the old HQ command center to find their worst fears. Asuka pulled him up on the com. The readings from the terminal HAD to be wrong. "STOP THIS SHINJI."

Calmly, "No. I've waited long enough for my peace. I've had enough and I can't take it anymore Asuka. You've proven it time and again. You're strong enough, so do it alone. I went to Osaka, Asuka and I saw him. I guess maybe you can't do it alone...I don't know. But I did what I said and now you have to too. I'm sorry, but now you have to watch me go." Shinji had landed in the Geofront and headed for the farthest pocket of the structure where he knew he wouldn't harm anyone on the surface in Tokyo 3 or any maintenance crews in HQ. He reached around to find the same lever Ayanami had used and pulled waiting for it to be over until the tac-net came online.

_I can't take it.  
This welcome is gone,  
And I've waited long enough;  
To make it,  
And if you're so strong  
You might as well just do it alone;  
And I'll watch you go.  
I can't take it!  
This welcome is gone,  
And I've waited long enough  
To make it._

"NO!" Asuka screamed. "This CAN'T BE HAPPENING! MISATO, OVERRIDE IT!" Unknown to her the purple-haired woman had been trying. She ejected the power, but the EVA switched to S2 power. She tried to eject the entry plug, but it refused. At this point all commands were being rejected by that which was inside the EVA. The woman just looked over at the girl with defeat in her eyes. Asuka's eyes went from pleading with Misato back to fear on the console as she looked at Shinji. He looked back and saw a tear roll down her cheek. The clock ticked away...one second now and time seemed to stop as he stared at her beautiful, crying face over the tac-net. One second to go and he felt it coming as time really did feel as it was stopping he heard someone in the back of his mind.

"Are you sure this is what you wish, my son?"

"Yes..."

_And if you're so strong  
You might as well just do it alone  
And I'll watch you go._

And everything whent white._  
_


End file.
